Seven Rules For Men,
My unasked advice. What I tell my kids.
There's lots of advice for men out there. If you men don't want to be von incels, and become husbands and fathers. Here's my honest best advice.
I have three ex wives.
These are lessons I learned.
(1) Absolutely, never! Not once ever, show vulnerability.
The majority of women will respond to vulnerability as weakness. The moment she perceives you as weak, she will perceive that weakness in all aspects. The instant you lose her respect, is the instant you have lost her. Respect is earned, never demanded.
No woman respects weakness period.
If you break your arm on a date, shrug it off. Do not admit it's painful.
( Yes, been there, done that, and yes, even as she called me an idiot, for “toughing it out” she gained respect for me. My choosing to laugh at myself and stay through the date despite the pain also demonstrated that I valued her. Yes, it was worth it. Even more so than playing through the pain in sports. Though that is a good way for boys to learn!)
(2) Lead, do not dominate, do not play alpha dawg or any games, simply lead. Leading is done by example.
Show her, earn her trust and respect by leading. You do not lead by demand, you lead by doing.
You want her attention, then earn it, do something significant, be someone significant.
(3) Integrity in all things at all times without exception.
(4) Treat her, and everyone with courtesy, respect and integrity.
(5) Always maintain self control.
The only time to be unrestrained, is in private consensual reciprocated passion. Ie, break the furniture together privately.
(6) Do not be intellectually lazy. Being pretty is only an easy introduction. It is the mind that lights her fire.
(7) Poetry. Learn it, learn to compose it, speak it, only in truth.
Accept nothing less from her.
Lead her in these things by living these things.
If both of you follow these rules, you will grow together and conquer any obstacles.
That first rule is one that I've learnt the hard way, lost relationships by admitting at a very vulnerable moment in my life where I nearly lost my dog I was vulnerable. Hell, I've had to rebuild my relationship with many of my female relatives who lost respect for me when I cracked once over nearly losing said dog.
It was a lesson my Dad taught me and I neglected to consider in my late twenties. Now I know, and now I'm crapped on by some members of my family and female friends for never showing 'vulnerability', but I've learnt they're not interested in weakness. Respect must be maintained. Male friendships are where you show vulnerability, not female relationships. It takes a very particular kind of woman to show weakness to and for her to stick by you, like Edith Tolkien did with Tolkien, or Livia with Augustus when their grandchildren died.
Women of the modern age aren't built like them.
The first rule is a real problem. And it’s really hard to model in real-life examples, because if a woman really loves a man, she won’t air his vulnerabilities in public. Which means she can’t show how women actually do accept a man’s vulnerability. Modelling it destroys what you want to model.
So all you guys, and the gals too, see, is the pile-on when a man is vulnerable. So it becomes normalized and both men and women think it’s the way things are supposed to be.