That first rule is one that I've learnt the hard way, lost relationships by admitting at a very vulnerable moment in my life where I nearly lost my dog I was vulnerable. Hell, I've had to rebuild my relationship with many of my female relatives who lost respect for me when I cracked once over nearly losing said dog.
It was a lesson my Dad taught me and I neglected to consider in my late twenties. Now I know, and now I'm crapped on by some members of my family and female friends for never showing 'vulnerability', but I've learnt they're not interested in weakness. Respect must be maintained. Male friendships are where you show vulnerability, not female relationships. It takes a very particular kind of woman to show weakness to and for her to stick by you, like Edith Tolkien did with Tolkien, or Livia with Augustus when their grandchildren died.
The first rule is a real problem. And it’s really hard to model in real-life examples, because if a woman really loves a man, she won’t air his vulnerabilities in public. Which means she can’t show how women actually do accept a man’s vulnerability. Modelling it destroys what you want to model.
So all you guys, and the gals too, see, is the pile-on when a man is vulnerable. So it becomes normalized and both men and women think it’s the way things are supposed to be.
I would have said that it is because a woman is afraid of a man's vulnerability because she depends on him, but in our modern world, where women are not as dependent on men, you would think that wouldn't be the case, but it seems to have gotten worse, not better.
Yes! When everything is victims and victimizers, it necessarily destroys teamwork. The two things are related. I never thought of it explicitly like that.
That first rule is one that I've learnt the hard way, lost relationships by admitting at a very vulnerable moment in my life where I nearly lost my dog I was vulnerable. Hell, I've had to rebuild my relationship with many of my female relatives who lost respect for me when I cracked once over nearly losing said dog.
It was a lesson my Dad taught me and I neglected to consider in my late twenties. Now I know, and now I'm crapped on by some members of my family and female friends for never showing 'vulnerability', but I've learnt they're not interested in weakness. Respect must be maintained. Male friendships are where you show vulnerability, not female relationships. It takes a very particular kind of woman to show weakness to and for her to stick by you, like Edith Tolkien did with Tolkien, or Livia with Augustus when their grandchildren died.
Women of the modern age aren't built like them.
Exactly. Sad but true.
The first rule is a real problem. And it’s really hard to model in real-life examples, because if a woman really loves a man, she won’t air his vulnerabilities in public. Which means she can’t show how women actually do accept a man’s vulnerability. Modelling it destroys what you want to model.
So all you guys, and the gals too, see, is the pile-on when a man is vulnerable. So it becomes normalized and both men and women think it’s the way things are supposed to be.
It's not about airing vulnerability in public.
It's about the fact that once respect is lost so is the relationship.
For some reason most women view a man as being human, feeling pain, admitting any needs as weakness.
In my experience, personal and observation, one of two events follows, (1) She leaves
(2) She seeks to dominate, control and humiliate the man.
The woman that does neither is extremely rare.
They exist, but are in the extreme minority.
Oddly, the only weakness commonly accepted by women is from abusive addicted men. Which are popular for some unfathomable reason.
I agree with all of that.
I would have said that it is because a woman is afraid of a man's vulnerability because she depends on him, but in our modern world, where women are not as dependent on men, you would think that wouldn't be the case, but it seems to have gotten worse, not better.
Culturally the idea of team work is gone.
Our culture celebrates dominance and submission. Victims and victimizers are the celebrated roles.
Yes! When everything is victims and victimizers, it necessarily destroys teamwork. The two things are related. I never thought of it explicitly like that.