THE SECRET GLOBAL WARMING CONSPIRACY.
Exposing the wicked ambitions of the foul flightless fowls of Antartica.
Emergency Alert!
Wake up!
Foul fowls are foully plotting, planning, implementing their schemes against us!
The single greatest threat to humanity, civilization and everything is the plan being carried out right before our eyes.
We cannot continue to blame our political leaders, corporate ceo’s, or their media pundits.
Yes, they spew lies about Global warming, yes they spread propaganda and serve a deep dark secret agenda. Yes they are servants of a cabal of herring breathed fowl evil. It is not these officials fault though! They are victims!
The Skull Fucking Penguins , along with their close cousin and allies, the Pussilanimous Puffins are behind the entire dastardly plot.
Sit tight, grab a coffee, some tea, maybe a few shots of Whiskey, to brace yourself with as I reveal the horrors.
The plot began , as ultimately all plans of world destroying climate change and world conquest begins, with unhappy females.
Seriously unhappy females, Foul irksome flightless Fowls and, their chapped frozen birdy butts.
Chapped asses and snow packed penginas incited the current world crisis.
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Skull Fucking Penguin,
Special insertion operator. Notice the high tech high powered super silent secret skull drill slung on the foul flightless fowls back.
A Pussilanimous Puffin airborne assault trooper.
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The foul facts of the foul fowls are as follows.
For eons lady penguins have existed in the harsh antarctic realm. Waddling their flightless birdy butts along on teeny tiny , itty bitty birdy legs only a few inches long. Forcing them to leave their birdy butts grounded.
While this would be uncomfortable in warm climates, causing chaffing and general irritation of rather sensitive regions. The Antarctic brings this experience to a whole new level.
Ice creates chill blains, frost bitten nether flaps, and the snow, leads to snow packed penginas. Anyone that has ever spent time with a woman knows that women are highly sensitive to cold.
If you are brave enough and stupid enough , try and pack snow into the sensitive , passion pocket of your dearly beloved. It is doubtful that you would survive the attempt.
Should you survive the attempt, I am sure that your man bits will likely be in a separate location from the rest of you and you would never see nor be tolerated anywhere near her passion pocket again.
The level of female penguin displeasure should be self evident, as should the sad reality of the male penguin population living in close quarters with such distinctly distressed females.
Compound this cruel aspect of reality with, the fact that male penguins are forced to drag their foul, flightless fowl birdy butts through ice and snow as well.
While not subject to flap chapping, or the effects of snow scooping and pengina packing with snow, the male penguin must experience the effects of dragging their male bits across snow and ice, chapping, chaffing, frost bite, cold shrinkage, all compounded by the fact that the female penguin passion pocket is a snow packed frozen pengina hell. There is no warm refuge for the poor penguin male bits whatsoever.
This has created a population of persnickety Penguin passions. Psychotic penguin rage is the standard fashion.
Driven by the hellish frozen insanity of their existence The Penguins developed a plan.
Right now crazed Penguins are busily melting the snow and ice of Antartica while simultaneously burning holes in the ozone layer with disposable lighters and hairspray. Causing, global warming.
In order to disguise their actions the Evil penguins have recruited and trained special operatives for the covert aspect of their desperately dastardly plan.
Enlisting the aid of their distant cousins the Pussilanimous Puffins, these special penguin operatives sneak up onto unsuspecting sleeping political leaders, pundits, scholars and activists using special designed silenced Cranial drills, they drill holes the size of penguin penises into the heafs of their target victims. While the pussilanimous puffins stand guard, the evil penguins proceed to skull fuck their victims brain washing their targets with evil penguins jizz.
All of these statements made about the global warming issues are really a deep cover psyop, the thoughts implanted and fertilized by evil penguin jizz.
The Skull Fucking penguins have covered their chapped, chaffed, frost bitten birdy asses by convincing us it is us causing the melting of antarctic glaciers, rising sea levels and holes in the ozone layer.
Beware the Skull Fucking penguins and their evil brainwashing!