The Care And Feeding of CritterMonsters 6 Leaping Lust Leprechauns. Or, why the WereBadgers are scared.
Leprechauns,
Coexisting with Leprechauns is better done in complete ignorance of their existence, habits or anything else about them. If you, dear reader would continue in bliss filled ignorance, without heart wrenching moments of paranoia and questioning every aspect and instance of existence. STOP READING NOW.
The nicest thing I can say about Leprechauns is that knowing them is like eating Magick mushrooms, snorting whiskey and trying to unseen/un think about and forget what ever happened, in a state perpetual dismay.
Finding and testing for Virgin goats in places terrorized by Daesh would be less risky and frustrating.
A dinner party hosted by cannibals would be more tasteful.
Leprechauns are THE original model of " Here hold my beer" Rednecks.
The worst parody of trailer park meth madness is the most genteel experience with a Leprechaun.
You Have Been Warned.
To begin I will explain what a leprechaun is not. Leprechauns are not nice, silly little icons of children's breakfast cereal. They are not like Lucky the leprechaun.
Leprechauns are not like the evil malicious horror critters of the Leprechaun horror franchise either, exactly.
Leprechauns are not greedy, they are however obsessed with lust.
Leprechauns are not exactly good nor are they precisely evil. Leprechauns have less than zero fucks.
Let that sink in. Less Than Zero Fucks.
Originally Leprechauns were the Gods of the Celtic people along the Atlantic fringe of Western Europe. We may have forgotten they were Gods, rest assured, They have not.
Think of a shape shifting Bugs Bunnies with a 2000 IQ, Zero Fucks, hyper A.D.D./H.D. and to whom we humans are as, Elmer Fudd. That's as kind of an analogy I can come up with.
Leprechauns are shape shifters.
No one knows what a Leprechaun looks like in their original form. I am not sure if Leprechauns remember anymore.
"Great leaping leprechauns of lust
all covered in glittering pixie dust!
Twisting and turning,
Stirring and churning,
Something is burning, to
Holy hell fire, What the fuck!"
Sorry about that. My coffee cup turned out to be an offended and aggravated Leprechaun. My coffee was still hot.
Where was I?
Oh yes.
The WereBadger.
When Leprechauns go to war they ride on the backs of Battle Badgers.
These Battle Badgers are WereBadgers.
Leprechauns created WereBadgers eons ago.
If that wasn't terrifying enough,
The HOW of creating WereBadgers is deeply disturbing.
One of the primary attributes of Leprechauns is lust. Think of twisted demented nymphomaniacal Bugs Bunny Cupid's with No boundaries and less than zero fucks and Millenia of experience with inventing various kinks.
That is why the Badgers are frightened and worried. Now you know the source of the Badger attitude.
BTW,
The sickly manic orgy of the Druid, Water Dragon and Sasquatch, was caused by bored leprechauns.
Seems they made a porno film
And invested in an in patient mental hospital chain.
They are making bank coming and going.
I think I will raise their rent.
The Rescue Ranch insurance rates are Astronomical.
As are the Attorneys retainer fees.
Not to mention , buying off county, state and federal inspectors, Agencies and members of the legislature.
Until next time,
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